DEVOTIONALS

A Eulogy of Love
By: Lori Schaffer

As we are approaching the two year anniversary of my mother’s passing, I was prompted to re-read the eulogy I wrote for her funeral service. At the time, I remember being completely devastated. Going through months of being a caretaker, to now having to plan a funeral service and all the details that come with the passing of a loved one. God woke me up in the middle of the night and gave me the words to put down on paper. I knew if I didn’t get
up and speak at my mom’s funeral, no one would.

At Blue Mountain Community Church, one of our sayings is, “we have something different today.” The congregation always responds with, “How different?” Well, this is a different type of devotion. Below, you will find the eulogy I wrote and spoke at my mom’s funeral service. I will share more at the end. I feel God is leading me to do so. Written Sept 9, 2022, in the middle of the night, Service was 9/12/22

A Eulogy of Love

Bonnie Lou Snyder
June 6, 1949 – September 7, 2022

Thank you all for coming this morning to celebrate my mom. I’m
going to try my best to get through this. My mom, Bonnie Lou Snyder,

was the youngest child born to Franklin and Naomi Costenbader,

on June 6, 1949. She had 2 older brothers, Barry, who was 11 years

older and Bruce who was 9 years older than her. Both her brothers

have passed, Barry most recently just this past May.

While my grandfather had 2 sons, it was my mom who was the tom boy.

My grandfather loved to hunt and fish, and my mom was right there

by his side. They went on many fishing trips to Canada.

At the age of 3 my mom lost her 2 fingers in an accident at home. She

was cleaning the lint trap on an old Maytag dryer when the machine

somehow started up and cut off her fingers. She never let that stop her.

She loved music and learned to play the piano and organ. I’m pretty sure

she briefly attended a music school when she graduated high school.

My mom had a hard life. Like most of us, she made mistakes, and went

through many trials and still she endured. Her first marriage to my father

was a highly abusive relationship, one in which she could not escape from.

It eventually led to her needing to protect herself and her children, which

resulted in my fathers’ death in 1985, when I was 12 years old. Her parents

and family surrounded her with love, support, and financial assistance.

She was charged with my fathers’ death and stood trial. I can remember

to this day sitting on the witness stand in that big courtroom and testifying.

My mother was the first woman in the state of Pennsylvania to be acquitted

based on the Battered Woman Syndrome defense.

Sometime later, in the late 80’s/early 90’s, my mom met the love of her life,

Michael Snyder. They were married on May 13, 1995, and just celebrated

27 years of marriage. Some of the things they loved to do…you guessed it

– hunting and fishing. They enjoyed camping, Nascar races, and baseball.

My mom enjoyed those first years of marriage and was happy. Life was

good. One day, while driving home from work, Mike was in a really bad car
accident at the age of 48. My mom became his caregiver, and loved and cared

for him for 17 years in her home. When it became too hard on her, Michael

moved to Mahoning Valley Nursing Home for the care he needed. Did

I mention that my mom was a strong woman? She had the strength to

endure and carry on.

My mom was a huge animal lover. Over the years she and Mike had many

BIG dogs. At one point, I think there were 4 large dogs in the house, and

she loved them all. Most recently, my mom had Oliver, her beloved German

short haired pointer, and 2 cats, Sassy who we referred to as the basement

dweller, and a young orange kitten named Sable. When she was diagnosed

with terminal cancer a few months ago, she took in Sable, the orange
kitty. While I knew getting a kitten was not the best idea in her condition,

I also knew it would bring her joy, which it did. Most days she was chasing

him with her squirt bottle that she kept in the bag of her walker to spray

him when he was being naughty-which was all the time. My mom loved

a clean, organized home and this kitten was making things a mess,

tracking litter all over the carpet and countertops, leaping on top of the

fridge to the top of the kitchen cabinets, knocking down curtain rods,

and he even bit her one night while she slept when she moved her arm-

he pounced and got her good. He was a kitten doing kitten things, I kept

telling her. In mid-July after her 4th round of Chemo she took a turn for

the worse and was in the hospital for many weeks. I know it was so hard

for her to do, but she gave the okay for me to find good homes for

all her pets. When mom came home on Aug 22 with hospice care,

she came home to an empty home. She was sad but took comfort in

knowing Oliver was living his best life, going on trips to upstate NY

fishing with his new family; Sassy was no longer a basement dweller

and moved into an in-law suite above a garage on Fireline Road with a

lovely lady, who has no basement, and Sable moved to Bethlehem with a

retired, older couple, who are now too probably chasing him around with

a squirt bottle.

Even though mom was given a terminal diagnosis in April, she was

determined to fight, and fight she did. The blessing in it all, was that after

she spent 3 weeks in St Luke’s hospital, she was transferred to Mahoning

Valley Rehab, where she was able to spend 3 weeks with Michael. They

enjoyed morning hot cocoa at 10, fresh air on the porch, and I even found

them watching the Little League World Series together one afternoon

when I stopped to visit.

My mom loved fiercely. She loved her grandchildren. My kids, Noah

and Chloe were very close with their Nana. My mom would always call

Chloe on the phone, leaving her the greatest voice mail messages. Not

a birthday went by without a call from Nana singing happy birthday

on the phone. She referred to Chloe as “her Chica”, which I’m sure will

become Chloe’s next tattoo. Noah was her handy man. He was always

mowing her grass, helping her with odds and ends around the home.

One of his most recent projects was to hang the new squirrel proof bird
feeder for her that she got on QVC. She loved to feed her birds out back

and watch them out the kitchen window. She loved her doves, cardinals,

and bluebirds. While the bird feeder may have been squirrel proof, it

certainly wasn’t bear proof, it only lasted a few days. Even still, watching

that bear out her window standing up on his hind legs on her wall to

get that bird feeder out of the tree brought her joy.

Nana loved to give Noah fishing pointers, she gave him her tackle box and

some rods. I don’t think though that she shared her secret to landing the

big one with him, he has yet to land anything bigger than this (show 3

inches with fingers). Mom was recently asked if there was anything in life

that she could do right now, what would it be? Her response, “was to

go fishing down at the river.”

Moms’ wish was to be able to pass away in her home. We thought she would

have a bit more time, but her condition quickly changed from one day to

the next, as if a switch was flipped. Being home allowed me the privilege

to pray with her and for her many times. The night before she passed I

read to her scripture and assured her of God’s promises. She spent 16 days

in her home, and was surrounded by her children when she passed from life

to everlasting life. I can rejoice that in that split second when her physical

body died, her spirit and soul were with Jesus, and she was fully healed

and restored.

My moms’ first time in this church was for my wedding on September 11, 1993.

Since then, she has come to many services here. She accepted the Lord

into her heart at Noah’s baptism on July 29, 2012, when she looked up at

Pastor Rick to receive Christ. She loved our special Christmas and Easter

services. She sang and clapped loudly, and shouted Amen and Hallelujah.

Every Sunday, Eric and I would go out and do her grocery shopping for her.

We had been doing this for close to 3 years now, since Covid hit. When we

would get to her house, I would always find her watching and listening to

numerous worship services on tv. She had her favorites that she watched

every week. Cliff and Jen have ministered to her in the hospital, nursing

home, and at home. She was so happy that they came to see her. One day

when I went to visit her at Mahoning Valley, she was beaming, she said

“I had visitors last night, you’ll never guess who came to see me?”

It was Cliff & Jen. I hadn’t known they went to see her. My mom loved

when Jenny sang to her. In her final hours before she passed, I made

sure to play Jen’s Faithful CD for her. I wanted her to hear music,

to hear God’s promises, to hear her voice. My mom knew the

Lord, and as her daughter, I can rejoice that she is now too,

living her best life in heaven.

So you may be wondering, why would I share this now? Well, I’m not sure, other than I felt God leading me to do so. As I reflect back on that point in my life, I recall vividly praying for God to turn my mourning into dancing. Grief is hard. The loss of a loved one is never easy. There were times along this path to healing that I wondered if the tears would ever end. Well, praise God, there is joy on the other side.

Those words that God gave me to speak that day, were the start of something greater. You see, if I was not obedient to what God was prompting me to do, I know for certain, my life right now would look differently. A life I wouldn’t even want to imagine. The death of my mother brought forth a refreshing in me, a commitment to daily bible reading, prayer, and a faith that I didn’t know was possible, a greater life in Christ. My “Eulogy of Love” for my
mother, in turn, has brought forth so many more writings. To date, this will be my 16th devotional writing.

So how does this relate to you? Are you struggling with something that God is prompting you to do? Are you being obedient? Do you need to get serious about your relationship with the Lord? Relationships require work. It doesn’t just happen. Are you ready to put in the work, and reap the rewards? Perhaps you are going through a season of grief yourself. Grief from the loss of a loved one, or dealing with a terminal illness. Regardless of the situation, you need Jesus. He is waiting for you with open arms. Run to Him. Feel his embrace.

In closing, I thought I’d share a few updates since I spoke those words at my mom’s funeral. My daughter Chloe, she did get her Chica tattoo on her arm as a reminder of the endearing name her Nana called her. Noah is still trying his luck with fishing. He was just out at the river recently and was so excited about his big catch. He sent me a video, and I just had to laugh. I’m sure my mom got a chuckle out of it too. I recently touched base with Sassy’s owner, who informed me he is now known as “Steve” and is doing well. (yes, my mom gave her boy cat a girl name, he’ll always be “Sassy”to me) I follow “Oliver” on facebook and he continues to live his best life, enjoying the great outdoors with his brother, and lots of fishing trips with his new family. Sable enjoys life in Bethlehem, and is totally spoiled. As for
me, faith has carried me through. God has turned my mourning into joy. A life lived for the Lord, is a life well lived. There is joy in the morning!

If you enjoy my writings, please let me know by emailing me at bluemccoffice@gmail.com . I would love to hear how God is using these writings to help in the lives of others.

REFLECTION VERSE:
Psalm 30:5
For His anger is but for a moment, His favor is for a lifetime; Weeping may
last for the night, But a shout of joy comes in the morning.

Please enjoy the photo updates below.